Think back to the last time you felt you weren’t very confident. Maybe you were trying something new or had to deal with something really difficult. Do you need to have confidence to do something or do you do something in order to gain confidence? What do you need to have confidence in? You may recognize yourself in any or all of the following.
My husband Jimmy was so excited to rent a table at a gun show coming up in February. He wanted to sell some of the non-restricted firearms that he no longer wanted. While preparing for the show he found out there was a change to the regulations for selling those kinds of firearms. The changes now involved needing prior approval from the RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) before selling. It didn’t take long and the excitement was gone. To him it was like he no longer could sell his firearms.
I could feel he wasn’t his normal self and finally asked him what was going on! He explained the changes to the regulations saying he had to phone the RCMP directly or go online which means he has to learn how to work with a computer. The gun show was on a weekend and in his eyes that left him with the only option of having to work with the computer. Just the thought of working with the computer caused him to feel depressed and he couldn’t see any way of making that happen.
With a very strong nudge from me he began to walk through whatever he was dealing with. Together we made some calls to the RCMP and found out how to access the information he needed for online approval. It was like a new page opened up for him. He started feeling less resistant to working with the computer and felt more confident about the whole process before him.
I asked him what he thought changed regarding his level of confidence. Did he need to know everything about computers in order to work with them? Did he need to be confident in selling his firearms? I took the questions in a different direction and asked him about being a carpenter. Did he need to be confident to be a carpenter or in doing his carpentry work? He entertained all these questions…and then I added…or did he need to be confident in himself in order to show up in the first place? Up to now he didn’t think he needed to learn about computers and wasn’t willing to try. In Jimmy’s case he only had to have confidence in himself. This was such an important realization. He discovered a new found confidence in himself and noticed he was feeling less dependant on others around him.
It has been my experience that when our partners/spouses are struggling in some way there is something for us to learn about ourselves especially if we’re involved in their process. I asked myself what Jimmy was showing me about me? Where was I lacking confidence in myself to just show up? I noticed there were times when I looked ahead at what I wanted to be doing and caught myself closing down energetically because I didn’t think I had the confidence to do it. Realizing that I was grateful for being involved in this experience with him. My awareness helped me find a new sense of confidence I could now work with.
I share this with you because being confident doesn’t only happen because you learned something new. Sometimes confidence surfaces because you showed up in the first place willing to learn. Sometimes confidence shows up because you dealt with your difficult situation. It’s like having confidence in yourself that you can handle anything and everything that comes your way in life. Your awareness helps you to know what that is for you.
Also, if you approach life situations with the attitude of not knowing everything you’ll be open to learning from others. You only need to be confident in yourself and the rest unfolds naturally in the right time and place.
Play with this thought…when you walk out of your door in the morning, do you need to be confident in what you’re about to do or in yourself that you can do it?
Wherever you are on your journey, may you find what works for you…find your own truth…and you will always be guided to feel at peace inside.
Sheila Unique, Relationship Renovator, Medical Intuitive, Spiritual Teacher
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