3 Things Preventing Problems from being Resolved

There are times in your day-to-day life when you confront problems. They could be related to the different people you interact with, things you utilize or situations you find yourself in. Sometimes those problems are easily resolved and then there are times when it doesn’t matter how hard you try or what you do to resolve them you continue to confront them. Here are 3 things preventing problems from being resolved:

1. Spending time and energy resolving a problem that isn’t the problem.

You’ll have problems in your life which you’ve been trying to resolve for any length of time and the problem still exists. Because the problem still exists, you continue to try different things. What you think is your problem may not be your problem at all. Your problem will be resolved when you have the right problem and the correct solution.

It’s not uncommon to think your problem exists because of the different people in your life. That may or may not be the case. If you focus your attention on changing and fixing those people, your problem will not be resolved. Your problem exists inside of you and it is inside of you where you experience resolution.

Think about a long-standing relationship where you still have hurt feelings towards that person. You’ve tried what you could to mend the relationship but you still feel hurt because of what they said. If you expect the other person to do something so you feel better, you will continue to feel hurt. The hurt you feel exists inside of you and when you heal and resolve your unrest related to that hurt, your problem with that relationship ceases to exist. You no longer feel that unrest which allows you to let go of the hurt feelings leaving you to feel more at peace inside. Putting your attention on the right problem coupled with the correct solution results in the problem transforming and disappearing from your life. Let me point out, your problem inside is resolved regardless if that other person is or isn’t in your life.

2. What you ‘know’ gets in the way of movement, healing and resolution.

What you think you ‘know’ to be true prevents a problem from being resolved. Things you know are often used as reasons or excuses as to why situations are the way they are and why they aren’t changing. Energetically, what you know tends to block any kind of movement resulting in having to continually work with the same problem over and over again.    

Think of an ongoing problem you have in one of your long-term relationships. You didn’t notice the problem in the beginning, but as the relationship grew, it surfaced. You’ve made a number of attempts to correct the problem and yet the problem still exists for you. Now you’re at the point where you think you can’t do anything to change it because of what you know.

What you know acts as a ‘filter’ for how you view different things taking place within your relationships impacting the health and healing of those relationships. For example, you’re in a relationship with a partner who has an alcohol problem. The problem with alcohol seems to be something you constantly have to think about and it upsets you to know you can’t get your partner to stop drinking. You know their alcohol problem is a problem you think your partner has to deal with before you will feel better. Knowing who and what the problem is won’t always be accurate. Yes, the alcohol problem exists and yes, the alcohol is causing problems between the two of you. But if you’re upset about the situation, your upset indicates you have unrest inside. The unrest related to alcohol becomes your ‘problem’ to heal and resolve inside of you. Using this approach, when that happens creates movement and healing in your relationship resulting in your problem being resolved. 

3. You’re so certain you know what the problem is, you’re not open to other possibilities.

Being certain is a bit different from knowing. This kind of certainty involves being so focused on what the problem is, how to take care of things and how things should turn out. When you have this kind of focus, you have closed off your mind to other possibilities regarding the problem and the solution. Eventually over time you can get to a place where you are struggling because you don’t know how to deal with what’s happening or that you feel powerless to make the changes you need for the problem to be resolved. Energetically, having that kind of certainty prevents you from keeping your mind open to other possible influences involved and potential solutions. 

It’s not uncommon for you to see problems taking place in other relationships and think you know what’s needed for them to resolve their problems. For example, you see a couple of your friends constantly arguing and you wonder why they’re still married. You’re so certain those friends aren’t right for each other and think they need to separate and find someone more suited for them. Or you hear one of your siblings always complaining about their spouse and think the only way for that sibling to be happy is to leave their spouse. If they separate and move on, they won’t complain and will be happy in their lives. What you think they need may not be what they need. People are experiencing what they’re experiencing for their own learning and growing.

What you think someone is feeling might not be what they’re feeling at all. For example, your friend hasn’t sent you a text in a week and you think they’re mad at you. Or you raise your voice when talking with a co-worker and the other staff members think you’re angry. Think of referencing the reasons as to why problems exist for you. What you think is the reason, might not be the underlying reason at all. From an energetic point of view, that kind of certainty is like making an assumption and gives you a false sense of certainty which prevents problems from actually being resolved.

There are going to be problems when it comes to living life. All problems can be resolved if you approach them with an open mind filled with possibilities. Every experience you have in life offers you an opportunity to learn and grow which involves awareness. Sometimes the learning is presented as a difficult problem for you to grow through. Outwardly, the problem may still exist, but inwardly you feel more at peace because of the healing and resolution inside.

Sheila Unique, Relationship Renovator
Building Relationships from the inside out.